Ask HN: How to be alone?

Article summary

The author, 38, is struggling to adjust to being alone after the end of a long-term relationship. They find it difficult to cope with the silence and emptiness, and are looking for ways to fill the void. The author is working remotely and taking antidepressants, but still feels a sense of hollowness. They are seeking advice and stories from others who have gone through similar experiences.

Main themes

• loneliness and isolation
• adjusting to change
• mental health and wellness
• social connections and community
• hobbies and personal growth
• urban vs suburban living

What commenters say

• Practicing being alone can help make it feel more normal and calm over time.
• Engaging in social activities and finding new hobbies can help alleviate feelings of loneliness.
• Some people find that moving to a more urban or walkable area can help them meet new people and feel less isolated.
• Others disagree, suggesting that cities can be just as isolating as suburbs if not more so.
• Exercise and healthy habits can help improve mental health, but may not directly address feelings of loneliness.
• Medication can help with biological depression, but may not resolve situational depression.
• The chemical imbalance theory of depression has been largely debunked, and the effectiveness of antidepressants is not fully understood.