I'm addicted to being useful (seangoedecke.com)

Article summary

The author, a software engineer, discusses their addiction to being useful and how it drives their work. They relate to the character Akaky Akaievich from Gogol's short story The Overcoat, who finds joy in his mundane and unappreciated work. The author notes that this addiction can be both a strength and a weakness, and that it's essential to find a balance between being useful and maintaining healthy personal relationships. The author also shares their experiences and strategies for managing this addiction in their professional and personal life.

Main themes

• Addiction to being useful
• Software engineering mindset
• Personal relationships
• Emotional labor
• Boundary setting
• Self-care

What commenters say

• Some people are driven by an internal compulsion to be useful, which can be both a motivator and a source of burnout.
• Being overly helpful can be counterproductive in personal relationships, as it can come across as overbearing or controlling.
• Setting boundaries and learning to say no is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and avoiding emotional exhaustion.
• Recognizing the difference between being heard and being helped is crucial in personal relationships, as some people may not want solutions to their problems but rather emotional support.
• The desire to be useful can be rooted in a need for recognition or validation, rather than a genuine desire to help others.
• Learning to prioritize one's own emotional needs and energy budget is essential for maintaining a healthy balance between being useful and being happy.
• Some individuals may use their helpfulness as a way to avoid their own emotional issues or to gain control over others.
• Finding a balance between being logical and being empathetic is necessary for building and maintaining strong personal relationships.