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Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids (desunit.com)

542 points by desunit · 537 days ago · 408 comments on HN

Article summary

The article discusses the marshmallow test, a famous experiment that measures a child's ability to delay gratification, and how it may not be a reliable indicator of future success. The test's results are influenced by factors such as the child's environment, economic background, and trust in the adult administering the test. The article argues that building trust and creating a predictable environment are crucial for children's development. The author suggests that the marshmallow test is not just about the child's ability to wait, but also about the adult's ability to create an environment worth waiting in.

Main themes

  • Marshmallow test
  • Child development
  • Trust and predictability
  • Environmental influence
  • Economic background
  • Parenting

What commenters say

  • The marshmallow test is not a reliable indicator of future success due to its oversimplification of complex factors.
  • The test's results are influenced by the child's environment and economic background, rather than just their individual character.
  • Some people question the appeal of marshmallows as a reward in the test, suggesting that they may not be as universally desirable as assumed.
  • The test has been discredited by some as a useful tool for understanding child development, with some arguing that it has been superseded by more modern and nuanced approaches.
  • Others argue that the test still has value as a historical artifact and a catalyst for discussion about child development and psychology.
  • There is disagreement about the relevance and validity of Freudian psychoanalysis in modern psychology, with some viewing it as outdated and discredited, while others see it as still having some value.
  • The concept of trust and predictability is seen as crucial for child development, with some arguing that it is more important than individual character traits like self-control.
  • The discussion around the marshmallow test highlights the complexity of child development and the need for a more nuanced understanding of the factors that influence it.