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How to boss without being bossy (jeffwofford.com)

422 points by putzdown · 1016 days ago · 197 comments on HN

Article summary

The article discusses how leaders can give commands without being perceived as bossy, exploring different phrases and tone of voice that can be used to convey instructions. It provides a taxonomy of commands, evaluating their clarity and harshness. The article suggests that the best approach depends on the context and the relationship between the leader and the team member. Effective communication is key to avoiding being seen as bossy.

Main themes

  • effective communication
  • leadership style
  • trust and competence
  • organizational context
  • power dynamics
  • language and tone

What commenters say

  • Some commenters argue that the article's focus on phraseology is superficial and that trust and competence are more important factors in determining whether a leader is seen as bossy.
  • Others believe that the article's suggestions are manipulative and that a more direct approach is often more effective.
  • A few commenters think that the article's approach is too focused on individual relationships and neglects the importance of cultural and organizational context.
  • Some argue that the use of phrases like 'I need you to' can be seen as entitled or manipulative, while others see it as a polite and effective way to communicate needs.
  • There is disagreement about the importance of tone of voice and language in conveying instructions, with some arguing that it is crucial and others believing that it is less important than the underlying relationship and context.
  • A few commenters suggest that the article's approach is too focused on avoiding conflict and that sometimes a more direct and assertive approach is necessary.
  • Others believe that the article's emphasis on clarity and respect is important for building trust and effective relationships.