Ask HN: How do you not take criticism of your work personally?

Article summary

The author struggles with taking constructive criticism of their work personally and is seeking advice on how to improve. They recognize this as a major flaw and want to learn to stop feeling bad about honest mistakes. The author is looking for ways to separate their self-worth from their work and handle criticism in a more professional manner. This issue is affecting their ability to receive feedback and grow as a professional.

Main themes

• receiving criticism
• personal growth
• professional development
• emotional intelligence
• resilience
• feedback and criticism

What commenters say

• Assuming positive intentions from critics can help to diffuse tension and improve the quality of feedback.
• Taking a break before responding to criticism can help to prevent emotional reactions and promote more thoughtful engagement.
• Some people believe that ignoring or downplaying criticism from those with negative intentions is the best approach, while others argue that it's essential to address and refute unfair or abusive comments.
• Focusing on the fact that mistakes are an inevitable part of the learning process and do not define one's worth as a professional can help to reduce the sting of criticism.
• Separating one's identity from their work and recognizing that criticism is not a personal attack can help to develop a thicker skin and improve resilience.
• Having a support system, such as colleagues or mentors, can provide an outlet for discussing and processing criticism in a safe and constructive environment.
• It's crucial to consider the intentions behind criticism and distinguish between constructive feedback and personal attacks or bullying.
• Developing a growth mindset and recognizing that criticism is an opportunity for growth and improvement can help to reframe one's perspective on feedback and criticism.