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Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

756 points by Goleniewski · 1323 days ago · 214 comments on HN

Article summary

The author shares their personal experience of being in a toxic work environment, where they felt undervalued, unappreciated, and depressed, but didn't realize the extent of the toxicity until they left. They describe the emotional toll of being in a situation where they felt stuck and unable to leave due to financial constraints. The author eventually found a new job that pays better and is more fulfilling, but notes that recovery from the emotional damage takes time. They encourage others in similar situations to plan their escape and prioritize their well-being.

Main themes

  • toxic work environments
  • mental health
  • career change
  • emotional damage
  • recovery
  • work-life balance

What commenters say

  • Some people may not realize the toxicity of their work environment until they leave, and it's never too late to make a change.
  • Having nothing to do at work can be more draining than being busy, especially when it involves pretending to work.
  • Leaving a toxic work environment can be liberating, but it's also important to address the underlying emotional damage.
  • Setting boundaries and prioritizing one's own needs is crucial for maintaining mental health in a toxic work environment.
  • Some people may find that having the freedom to work on their own projects can be beneficial for their mental health, but it's not always a guarantee of happiness.
  • Others may argue that having a sense of purpose and being needed is essential for human fulfillment, and that doing nothing can be unfulfilling.
  • It's possible for people to become so accustomed to a toxic environment that they don't realize the impact it's having on their mental health until they leave.
  • Ultimately, it's up to each individual to decide what they can tolerate in a work environment and when it's time to make a change.