Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

Article summary

The author of the article is struggling with social awkwardness and shyness, particularly in new situations, and is seeking advice on how to improve. They have started going to the gym, but are looking for other ways to build their confidence and social skills. The author notes that they can be confident and calm in familiar contexts, but struggle in new environments. They are seeking success stories and advice from others who have overcome similar challenges.

Main themes

• Social awkwardness
• Building confidence
• Exposure to social situations
• Professional help
• Substance use
• Self-acceptance
• Personal growth

What commenters say

• Some people believe that social awkwardness is a common experience and that everyone feels awkward at times, so there's no need to try to change.
• Others suggest that exposure to social situations and practice can help build confidence and improve social skills.
• A few commenters recommend seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to address underlying issues that may be contributing to social awkwardness.
• Some people have found that substances like alcohol or psychedelics have helped them become more extroverted and confident in social situations, while others warn of the potential risks and negative consequences.
• Several commenters emphasize the importance of self-acceptance and not trying to change who you are to fit in with others.
• Others suggest that small steps, such as improving posture or practicing conversation skills, can help build confidence and improve social interactions.
• A few people have found that putting themselves in new and challenging social situations has helped them grow and become more confident.