Ask HN: What people skills do you wish you learned earlier in your career?

Article summary

The article asks about people skills that one wishes they had learned earlier in their career, including dealing with emotions, communication, and negotiation. The author is interested in hearing about favorite books and resources that have helped with these skills. The discussion is focused on sharing personal experiences and advice on how to improve people skills in a professional setting. The goal is to learn from others and gain new insights on how to navigate complex social situations at work.

Main themes

• people skills
• communication
• emotional intelligence
• professional relationships
• self-worth
• effective negotiation

What commenters say

• Listening is a crucial people skill that involves understanding others' motivations and emotions before responding or trying to fix a situation.
• Being honest, following through on commitments, and not being an asshole are essential for building trust and respect in professional relationships.
• Deriving self-worth from external validation, such as compliments, can be problematic and may lead to an inflated or deflated sense of self-importance.
• Some argue that debating is overrated and can be counterproductive, while others suggest that it can be an effective way to explore ideas and reach a deeper understanding.
• Persuasion is often more emotional than intellectual, and effective communication involves considering the emotional aspects of a conversation.
• Managing expectations and communicating effectively with senior leaders is critical, but may involve distilling complex information rather than over-communicating.
• Not everyone responds to direct communication in the same way, and being aware of individual differences in communication style is important for effective teamwork.